Dear Cas
by grednforge23
Summary: While cleaning the Bunker, Castiel, quite literally, finds a letter with his name on it.


Dear Cas

 _Cas, I know I should've said this earlier and I'm sorry. I was just scared. It's too late now though. If you have this then the Mark got me and I'm not me anymore. Whatever I might have done I'm sorry. But I'm not here to apologize for what I may or may not have done. This is more important._

 _It's been a long time coming and I think you know already but I still feel it needs to be said._

 _I love you. I love you and I'm so sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I should have, but I didn't. And the only reason I didn't is because whenever I love someone and actually admit it, bad things happen to them and that's the last thing I wanted for you. I couldn't stand the thought of putting you in harms way more than absolutely necessary._

 _Listen, I know this may not have seemed like the best plan but especially since I got the Mark, it was the only one that seemed right. I didn't want to risk it. Not after everything we've been through. I do wish we could've had time together though. Always wondered what it would be like to kiss you.. It's too late now though. I'm too far gone to be anything but a danger to you. I can't risk that._

 _Hopefully you never have to see this though. Maybe this will all blow over, I'll get some balls, I'll ask you out, and we can just be happy for a little while. Right? … Who am kidding. That could never really work. Because the real world is a bitch, and nothing in my sorry ass life has ever worked out like that. Not even… Not even Ben and Lisa…_

 _So how could I honestly expect it to work out with us? If it couldn't work with the woman I might have had a child with, how could I risk something similar happening between us? I can't. You and Sammy are my whole world and I couldn't handle it if something happened to either of you. I hope you know that. If I didn't tell you that enough, I'm sorry. I honestly am. I wish things could be different with us. I wish I could give you the life you deserve. Hell, I don't even know if you feel the same way about me. I know this letter is basically a confession but I don't know how you feel about me. I hope to god you feel the same way though. After all these years though, I think you do…_

 _Can you do something for me Cas..? This may be a lot to ask, but tell Sammy I'm sorry. For everything._

 _Well I think I've made my point. I just wanna tell you one more time though. I love you to hell and back. I'm sorry I never told you._

 _Dean Winchester_

Castiel's eyes were watery by the time he finished reading the note. He didn't exactly know what to say. This wasn't something he expected to find while cleaning. A couple tears dripped on to the paper, smudging a bit of the ink. He held the paper to his chest with a small smile as a couple more tears slipped down.

Dean poked his head in a second later, grinning before seeing the tears slipping down his lover's cheeks. He quickly went to Cas' side, eyes wide as he cupped his cheeks. "Cas, baby are you ok?"

Cas smiled up at him as Dean wiped his tears away, sniffling a little. "I'm fine Dean. Perfectly ok actually."

Cas looked down at the papers in his arms. Dean looked down as well, eyebrows furrowed before realizing what Cas was holding. His face heated up a little, looking back into Cas's eyes.

"... And?"

Cas sniffled again and beamed. "It was beautiful. It definitely wasn't what I was expecting, but it was beautiful."

Dean smiled sheepishly. "Really..?"

Cas nodded quickly, leaning up a little to nuzzle Dean's nose. "I loved it."

He looked back down at the paper in his hands. "How long ago did you write these?"

Dean took the paper from his hands, looking it over carefully. "Five, six years ago? Probably more. I don't really remember honestly."

Cas nodded, smiling at Dean. "It's so sweet. I didn't know you were such a good writer."

Dean blushed again, smiling. "Well uh. It's not that great. I mean, Sammy's more of the writer between the two of us. But uh tha-" Cas cut him off with a soft kiss and a chuckle.

"Shush before you mess up the moment." Dean grinned.

"Shutting up."

The End.

 **Hello again my lovelies! Seeing as I recently, and by recently I mean today, got a laptop I'll probably be uploading a lot of stuff for a lot of different fandoms that probably don't make too much sense. Other than a few one shots I've already finished, like this one, I don't have any of these stories anywhere close to finished but between work and trying to finish actual books, I will be trying to upload more on here and finish more stories. As with Angel in the Power Lines, constructive criticism is always welcomed but flames will be used to roast marshmallows and the souls of the damned. Hope you enjoyed and please review and favorite, it means a lot!~ KRS ^_^**


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